Should I See a Therapist? 10 Reasons to Go to Therapy

Should I see a therapist?

If you’re asking this question, then your intuition is probably telling you that you do.

The truth is, most people could really use the help of a therapist.

The sad thing is, most people who do need it, never actually seek help.

Why?

There’s so much stigma, guilt, or shame put around seeing a therapist.

“You’re weak.”

“You’re so dramatic.”

“Privileged much?”

“We didn’t have that back in the day.”

“You’re wasting money.”

“Are you crazy or something?”

“It’s all in your head.”

But the truth is, seeking therapy is one of the most courageous and kindest acts you can do for yourself.

Not everyone is strong enough to sit with their feelings and get to the root of their pain.

What we don’t heal, controls us.

Thankfully, we have professionals for that.

Let’s dive in!

Should I See a Therapist

I tried everything. Self-help books, affirmations, meditation, everything under the sun.

Nothing truly helped. (Actually, maybe some helped temporarily.)

But the real game changer for me was when I stopped caring about what other people would think and finally sought professional help.

Why should I see a therapist?

I’m gonna be honest with you. 

There’s a clear reason why this is my first mental health blog post. 

Why? Because I believe that the real change only really started the first time I saw a therapist. 

More on that later.

The top reason why people need to see a therapist is that most of us have dealt with some kind of traumatic event. 

First of all, let’s discuss the difference between a traumatic event and trauma. 

Trauma vs Traumatic Event

People often think that trauma and traumatic events are the same but they are different.

A traumatic event is an event that has the potential to cause distress to you mentally, emotionally, and physically. 

An accident, abuse, an assault, a natural disaster, a stressful lawsuit, being bullied, abandonment, betrayal, war, financial crisis, poverty, etc.

These are examples of traumatic events but not everyone who experiences traumatic events becomes traumatized.

Take note: That doesn’t mean that some people are weaker than others. 

It’s about whether or not you had the resources to bring yourself back to homeostasis.

I’ll explain this in more detail in my upcoming article about why some people get traumatized and some don’t.

Trauma is what happens inside of you as a result of not having the proper resources to process traumatic event/s in a healthy way. (Which most of us don’t.)

“Trauma is what happens inside you as a result of what happened to you. “

-Dr. Gabor Mate

Trauma is the psychic wound. When we don’t heal it, quoting Dr. Gabor Mate, “it becomes an invisible force that shapes our lives.“

When you see someone doing questionable things, or when you feel like you are sabotaging yourself, it’s probably these invisible wounds. 

Maybe there are things you do that you don’t understand;

Habits or addictions that you want to change but can’t seem to.

These wounds affect you more than you think they do. 

According to the Global Collaboration on Traumatic Stress website:

“Approximately 70% of the world’s population have been exposed to a traumatic life event, and the resulting mental health problems represent a major challenge to public mental health services, globally.“

Unfortunately, the traumatic events that happened can’t unhappen.

The good news is, the wounds that you sustained can be healed. 

We’ll dive deeper later on. First, let’s clear up some terminologies.

Do I need a Therapist or Psychologist

At first, I didn’t know whether I should see a therapist or a psychologist.

What’s the difference?

See a psychologist if you want to get a diagnosis and treatment plan suggestions to help you feel better.

A therapist would be great if you want someone to listen and help you develop skills to manage stress and cope better.

A trauma-informed therapist would help you a ton if you want to uncover and process trauma. 

For this one, I suggest EMDR or Somatic Experiencing.

Psychologist vs Psychiatrist vs Therapist

Among all three, the psychiatrist is a doctor.

He/she specializes in mental health and can prescribe medicines when needed. 

Psychiatrists treat your mental health like doctors treat physical illnesses. 

Finding the right professional for you is not an easy process.

For weeks, my search results looked something like this:

How to find a therapist Reddit

How can I find a psychologist near me?

Personally, I had a psychologist diagnose me and then I looked for the right trauma therapist for my CPTSD.

I wanted to heal more naturally and start from the root. 

If you have Complex PTSD, it’s gonna take a longer time to heal. Check out my article about the Complex PTSD symptoms.

The bottom line is that only you know what’s best for you.

10 Reasons to See a Therapist

If you’re looking for a “Do I need therapy quiz”, then just check if you resonate with at least 3 of the things I’ve listed below.

Here are the reasons or benefits of seeing a therapist:

1: They can help you understand yourself

Trying to understand yourself is a lifelong journey.

It’s great if you have a good grasp of understanding yourself, but most of us could use the help of professionals.

Sadly, understanding our behaviors, emotions, and reactions is not part of the school curriculum.

It would be amazing if it is. 

Most of us don’t know how to manage stress, regulate our emotions, or process traumatic things in healthy ways.

We don’t know why we burst into extreme anger, why we self-sabotage, why we can’t change our bad habits, etc.

Luckily, we have professionals trained in these matters. 

They study how our minds work, the reasons behind our behaviors, how to cope and feel better, all that jazz. 

The best thing is that these things are backed by science.

So even though we weren’t taught these basic but highly important things, we still could seek help from the experts. 

2: You probably have trauma

“Trauma is inevitable, but healing is possible. Emotions cannot be conquered, but must be accepted and managed.”

-Mark Manson

According to The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck author, Mark Manson, none of us should experience horrible things, but all of us do, at some point or another.

According to him, it’s just a fact of life.

That’s not so nice to hear. Unfortunately, studies are here to back this up.

In a survey conducted in 2017 with almost 70,000 adults from 24 countries, it was discovered that 70.4% of them had experienced at least one traumatic event in their lives.

Huge bummer.

But I don’t know about you, it’s also kind of comforting.

Suddenly, you don’t feel so alone and you can have more acceptance.

The question is, are you gonna be one of those people who were drowned by their shadows or are you gonna be one of the alchemists? (Hi Paulo Coelho).

Now, how do we turn pain into something beautiful?

It starts with healing.

“Only by shining light over your shadows can you transform them into healing rays for yourself and for others.”

-Dahlia Moonlight

The best part about writing your own blog is you can quote yourself.

For me, EMDR has helped me immensely in shining light over my shadows, over the invisible forces controlling my life.

3: Nothing else seems to truly help

People always want the quick fix. That’s why we keep making people who promise quick fixes so rich.

They sell quick fixes and we’re like “Take my money!”. 

The results never last.

Most people hate hard things. I am no different.

But here’s a bitter pill to swallow: healing is not easy and it takes time.

For years, I was like a child saying “No, I want my candy now!”.

In my opinion, searching for quick fixes only slowed me down.

You wanna know what truly helped?

When I accepted the fact that I had a long list of traumas and it’s probably gonna take months/years of trauma therapy.

When you stop resisting, you’re able to stay present and enjoy the process.

There’s freedom in knowing that it’s not gonna be perfect but you are taking steps (one therapy session at a time).

You are exactly where you need to be.

4: They can help bring clarity

Even without trauma, things can get overwhelming in this modern world.

There’s so much going on and we’ve created a culture that worships productivity and shames rest.

When overwhelmed, our brains can go into survival mode.

In this mode, our reptilian brains believe we’re being chased by a tiger.

This makes it hard to see clearly.

If you want to know more about the neuroscience of how our brains react to perceived threats, The Body Keeps the Score is a good read.

Sometimes we need someone to pull us a step back and help us see things more clearly, especially if we’re not in the right environment.

It helps to see things without the filter of our flawed lens.

I once realized in therapy that my job was causing unnecessary stress and as a result, I was able to make a decision that made me happier. Check out my blog about why I quit freelancing.

5: They can help define what you’re struggling with

As I mentioned, the reason why this is my first mental health blog is because seeking professional help marked the beginning of my true healing.

Just like with physical illnesses, you have to know what’s going on.

How are you gonna heal if you don’t even know what’s wrong with your body or which part needs healing?

Awareness is the first step to understanding.

Understanding leads you to the right path towards healing.

6: They can help us feel safe and supported

We are humans. We need support.

Whether we like it or not, we need a sense of connection and intimacy. 

I first found out about this from the book “Rewire Your Brain” by Dr. John B. Arden.

Highly recommended book to get started with neuroscience and it taught me that our brains are very social.

Apparently, we need socialization for our brains to stay healthy no matter how introverted we think we are. 

Some of us may not have access to healthy connections yet.

I am telling you, having someone listen without judgment and give helpful advice/ tools is life-changing.

It’s even better than opening up to a friend, in the sense that they know how to help you better. (scientifically).

I know our connection with a therapist is not the same but when you find the right one, they will help you feel safe and supported. 

7: They can help us build better coping skills

Most of us don’t know how to cope.

But we’re so good at distracting ourselves.

Alcohol, drugs, social media, sex, video games, food, etc.

Yes, they make us feel good in the moment, but are they healthy ways to cope?

Temporary highs are never sustainable.

We shame people who let themselves feel and say they’re too sensitive, but sitting with your feelings is one of the hardest things to do.

Most of us would do anything just so we could avoid ‘feeling’.

Those who are brave enough to feel are able to process and release these emotions in healthy and sustainable ways.

People who feel can break cycles of abuse and generational trauma. 

8: They can teach better emotional regulation techniques

Most adults don’t know how to manage emotions.

All the road rage, violence, emotional eating, etc. are proof of that.

What if there are easy ways to manage your emotions healthily?

If we were taught these things since we were little, they would’ve become our automatic responses, instead of the disruptive ones we’ve adapted growing up.

Therapists can help us unlearn and learn new ways to manage emotions so we can navigate life’s challenges better and treat people around us with more compassion.

9: They can help us improve our relationships

Imagine seeing the world and dealing with your relationships without your past traumas getting in the way.

As I quoted Dr. Gabor Mate above, “Trauma is like an invisible force shaping our lives”.

And it works on a subconscious level!

Just like how we now subconsciously know how to ride a bike or brush our teeth without thinking about it. 

I learned this concept from Dr. Joe Dispenza.

Try unlearning how to ride a bike or brush your teeth. It’s not easy to break subconscious programming, especially when we’ve absorbed them from a young age.

Our brains as children are like sponges.

If you find out the reason why you slap people when they don’t act as you expect is because your mother did the same to you, or why you push away people for minor inconveniences is because you have abandonment trauma, or why you keep coming back to your abusive ex even if your friends are so sick of it is because that’s what’s familiar to you, imagine the steps you will take after and how your relationships will improve.

10: They can help you create a better world

“People who are brave enough to feel can break cycles of abuse and generational trauma.”

See what I did there? I just quoted myself again.

I hope it’s obvious by now that understanding and healing yourself makes you a better person.

For example, when you just beat the heck out of your kid and you realize:

“Oh shit, I learned from my abusive father that the way to deal with someone when you don’t like what they did is to beat the shit out of them.

Deep inside, I know that this is wrong. How can I stop myself from doing this?

I feel like it’s an automatic response, like an invisible force controlling me.

Wait. How about therapy?”

And Bam! You just took the first step to breaking generational trauma.

Your ancestors are shocked. 

“What the heck, who knew a life without violence was possible?”

“You’re telling me I could’ve grown up in a household where I didn’t have crippling anxiety and fear that I would do something I’d get beaten up for?”

Kidding aside, I genuinely hope the point came across.

FAQs

Why doesn’t talk therapy work for trauma?

Talk therapy doesn’t work for some people because we usually store trauma in our bodies which, according to Dr. Joe Dispenza, is our subconscious. Some people don’t even remember the trauma, but the body remembers. We cannot reason with it so we have to go deeper than our conscious/rational minds.

Is it OK to not see a therapist?

You should see a therapist if you think you have wounds that you may potentially pass on. It’s just responsible to not create a trauma cycle. You can make your list of reasons not to go to therapy but for your own good and the next generation, please do.

How do you know if you need a therapist?

If you’re asking this, you probably need one. Period.

Conclusion

I don’t want to overload your probably already overloaded brain.

Honestly, therapy should be the new normal. 

Can you imagine a world full of people who take responsibility for their well-being, their actions, reactions, and emotions?

Sounds like paradise to me.

If you’ve been fighting with yourself over whether or not you should see a therapist, I hope this blog convinced you to do so!

If I did convince you, please let me know in the comments and I would love an update about how your journey goes.

Feel free to drop your questions below too!